


Steps

by steelorchids



Category: Daredevil (TV), Karedevil - Fandom
Genre: A little Born Again in the very end, Daredevil Season 3, F/M, Karedevil Season 3, Rebuilding Karedevil, karedevil - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-28
Updated: 2018-12-01
Packaged: 2019-08-08 23:33:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16438958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/steelorchids/pseuds/steelorchids
Summary: This is a series of steps Matt and Karen are taking (whether they know it or not) to rebuild their relationship in Season 3.Chapter 1:Inside Matt and Karen's heads a little bit before he comes to her apartment on Season 3 Episode 6.





	1. Step One

**Author's Note:**

> Contains a few references from Seasons 1 & 2, Episode 5 in S3, and The Defenders.

He knew what her reaction would be. He wasn't sure if she'd even agree to talk to him, but he had to try.

She was already angry before he “died”. He had been an asshole long before that. After telling her his secret, after promising he would never lie to her again, he still did. He didn't want to. He wanted to believe Daredevil was really gone, but it was more complicated than he thought.

That day at the diner he lied one more time trying to convince himself he was just the lawyer doing the right thing, using the system to bring justice to those who needed it; but then, The Hand… he had to do it. There was no way he could've just stayed there with arms crossed when so many innocent people were at risk. So he did it. He did what he had told Karen he no longer needed as part of him, and became the devil again to save the city. Except it didn't exactly turn out the way he planned.

The last time they talked was a few months ago at the police station when he told her _this_ was his life. Certainly not the life he wanted, but one that he was doomed to live.

Now he was here outside her apartment window. She was still asleep. Slow breathing. There was alcohol in her body and she was wearing day clothes.  
  
_Long night?_ He wondered. Deep sigh. _None of your business, Matthew. She has a life of her own and you are not part of it anymore._  
  
As much as he wanted to ask her how she was, he was the last person she would share her problems with.

 _You're only here for Fisk._ His excuse was that he needed her help. He did. In fact, he knew she was as interested in bringing him down as he was. Although deep down he really wanted to just talk to her. Listen to her voice, enjoy her sweet scent at least for a brief moment, because he had no hope she would forgive him or that he would ever be with her again. It was better like that. To protect her. To keep her safe. She was better off without Daredevil.  
  
                                    ......................................................................................................................................................

  
Karen Page had made many mistakes in her life. Decisions with dreadful consequences. Some of them worse than others. She mainly regretted the mistakes that had led to the deaths of her brother, of Ben, and… No matter what Foggy said, she would have to live with that guilt for the rest of her life and there was nothing she could do about it.

As for Matt Murdock… How could she be so stupid? Without realizing it, she started falling for him the night she was arrested when he told her he believed her. Ironically, that was the first of his lies. How he was so sure she was telling the truth. Along with all the other little things he did every time she was around to pretend he was a regular blind man.

Yet the way he treated her, his smooth manners, everything he stood for, his talent and sharp thinking. The way he pulled her by the hand and kissed her under the rain like nobody had ever kissed her before. And God, he also looked so good. By the time she realized she was in love with him, it was already too late. She just couldn't get him out of her head. Frank was right, even though she refused to admit it; but there were lies, too many of them, along with too many tears.

Now it turns out he's alive. Of course he didn't reach out! It's Matt Murdock we're talking about. Foggy said he'd changed. For her it sounded like the same man who always isolated himself from his friends, from her. Why should that even surprise her? Oh but she was naive enough to keep paying his bills. _Karen, you're such an idiot!_ Clinging to the idea that he'd be back. As crazy as it sounded.

Love does that. It keeps hope alive. She could not let him go. Getting used to the idea that he was really gone was something that she couldn't bear, because it would mean she was totally alone in this world. But he didn't even bother to contact her, and told his so-called best friend not to let her know he was still alive. Always pushing her away. “Dead” as he was, he kept breaking her heart. Yes, maybe Matt was a mistake in her life too. One that had made her miserable at times, but had also made her feel more alive than she'd ever been. And she had no idea how to deal with such an agitated swirl of emotions.  
  
                                    ......................................................................................................................................................

  
She's up now. He can hear heart beating faster. She knows someone's here. Grabs the first thing she can use as defense. Always brave and determined. Not needed though.  
  
_I would never hurt you, Karen. At least not that way._  
  
She gets closer while lifting the improvised weapon, ready to attack whoever's broken into her place. Just saw him.  
  
“Hey, Karen”.  
  
She breathes out relieved. Upset. Very. He can tell by the movement of her eyes and the muscles of her face. She was definitely not expecting him.  
  
Out of all the possible scenarios she had rehearsed in her head over and over again, this encounter was the least likely. He could've knocked on her door instead of scaring the hell out of her, but no, he had to use the window.  
  
“You need to pay me back for your rent” was all she managed to say before walking back and disappearing in the hallway.  
  
Another sigh. _Ok, good. At least she didn't kick you out._  
  
Mask off. It was time for step two.


	2. Step Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inside Matt and Karen's heads after they set up to meet at The New York Bulletin to get Jasper Evans to talk about Fisk (Season 3 Episode 6).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the second one in a series of steps Matt and Karen are taking (whether they know it or not) to rebuild their relationship in Season 3.

He suddenly felt... lighter, better. He couldn't explain it really, and may have even tried to ignore it. He had been so drowned in frustration that he had forgotten what it was like to actually feel... good? His life was still fucked up and he wasn't ready to go back to being Matt Murdock yet, but he found himself enjoying this moment.

It was simple: Karen didn't hate him. And she had agreed to work with him against Fisk even after saying no. He knew her. She wasn't just going to ignore what he had asked her for. He trusted his instincts and hoped she would show up at Jasper Evans’s place. And he was glad she did. It was definitely dangerous, but he had gotten the whole area covered and he wouldn't have let anything happen to her.

She was angry, yes, and almost as stubborn as he was, but unbelievably she was still there. After everything that had happened and how much he’d hurt her, somehow she was still there.

He was pleasantly surprised when he went back to his apartment for the first time in so long and a little bit of her scent still lingered there. She had been paying for his bills, which meant she was in denial, hoping he'd come back and... _Oh Murdock, you're such an idiot!_ He had sneaked into her apartment, but didn't remember to thank her and tell her he’d pay her back. He made a mental note to go over that as soon as he met her.

“Yes, I'm meeting her”. When he said that, Sister Maggie figured out the reason why he was having trouble trying to erase that silly smile from his face. He had asked Foggy not to let her know he was still alive, but he was glad he did anyway. He had almost forgotten how much he missed her, how he felt whenever he was with her, how easily she made him laugh, how he struggled to be effective at anything every time she was around.

He was being so obvious that the nun noticed his change of mood. She mentioned that Karen was lovely, which not only made his heart beat a little bit faster, but also brought memories of the few times he was with her. Moments where the world would stop and it was just her, filling in every corner of his mind and his soul. It had been perfect, he kept every second treasured in his heart; and then disaster made its way back into his life.

“We're just friends” he told Maggie _and_ himself. And that was enough for him. He would not hurt her again. He would not screw it up. He preferred to be only his friend as long as she was safe. This was not the life she deserved.

Now there was work to do. He had to concentrate. _New York Bulletin. Jasper Evans. FBI. Karen writes that article. Wilson Fisk goes back to jail… Karen. Maybe a drink after that? With Foggy? Focus, Matt. She's only helping you one last time. She's better off without you._ He kept repeating in his head. But deep down, he couldn't wait to see her again.

\--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---

_After swearing you would never have anything to do with him, after so much time being angry at him, even before he “came back from the dead”, after how much he’s hurt you, here are you are, Karen, helping Matt._

She couldn’t believe she was doing this. But it was just for Fisk, to send him back to prison. That was all. It was a smart plan. The FBI would leave them all alone and they’d all go back to their usual separate lives.

She was certainly not ready to forgive him, but she had to admit how incredibly relieved (and happy?) she felt upon learning he was alive, let alone when she saw him. In spite of being so mad at him, she wasn't able to ignore that cut on his forehead, and she also had to control herself in order to not get close to him and hug him, something she had been wanting to do for so damn long. There was so much she wanted to tell him. And so many questions, but at this point he didn't even deserve for her to talk to him.

Yet here she was, and it was only because Foggy and Sister Maggie persuaded her that she agreed to help him. _Oh those two do know how to give a speech_. Karen realized she had  abandoned Matt too when he told her about Daredevil. It was just too much for her, she didn't know how to handle it. He had lied to her over and over ever since the day they met and, although she wasn't sure if he was really going to leave his other life behind, he did consider her important enough to reveal his secret to her. It was him finally showing that he trusted her, that he wanted to be honest with her. _When you have so many secrets of your own..._

She wondered if she'd ever be brave enough to tell him about what she had done, if he'd ever want anything to do with her after finding out who she really was. But considering the way he was living his life now, she was probably not going to see him again after this.

“Um… Miss Page?” Jasper Evans brought her back to reality.

“Yes?” she answered, while pulling over at The Bulletin’s parking lot.

“Are you sure you wanna do this? It’ll send Fisk back to prison, but it's also gonna make you and your paper a target”.

“Yeah, well, it wouldn't be the first time. And trust me, it's worth the risk”. She removed her seat belt and opened the door. “C'mon, let's do this”.

He nodded and they got off the car, headed to the office.

\--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---

Karen was terrified. _WHAT THE HELL HAD JUST HAPPENED?!_

Foggy and Ellison were knocked down. Jasper Evans was dead. _Shit!_

She didn't understand how she was not dead too, or who the hell was that psycho wearing Matt's suit. _Matt!_

Her heart was racing and her whole body froze thinking he might’ve been killed too. This time for real. She had to go out. Make sure he was ok. Ask for help.

Matt was trying to get up. His back was killing him and he was losing blood. He didn't understand what was going on either. Who was that man impersonating him? He couldn't beat him. Nor save those people. Foggy. Karen. Were his senses failing again?

_Oh Karen. Thank God._ He sighed with relief when she came to him. She was ok, although her heart was about to explode.

“Foggy?” he asked her. He could barely talk.

“No, no, he's ok, he's ok” she answered. Her voice and her body were shaking with fear.

His senses were working after all, since he also noticed Jasper was lying dead in the room next door. Fisk. He planned all this. Always five steps ahead of him. How could he be so stupid?

He had to go. The FBI was coming. He managed to stand on his feet. Blood all over his body. She wanted to help him, but she didn't know how to. As much as she wanted to stay with him, she had to let him go. He had to run away from this mess so he wouldn't get caught. Otherwise they would think he did this, which was probably Fisk's plan. He had to go and she would answer the FBI’s questions.

Matt was in pain, frustrated, and defeated. He didn't have time or energy to say anything. All he was able to do was reach out for Karen's hand and she reached back. No need for words. She understood. And then she just saw as he walked away. Leaving her with a different kind of heartache, and stains of his blood on her sleeve.

She was no longer angry at him. She had forgiven him already.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! :)


	3. Step Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inside Matt and Karen's heads after Wilson Fisk is arrested. Takes place during Season 3 Episode 13.

He didn't kill him. Matt never thought not accomplishing a mission would feel so liberating.

He hadn't only been fighting Wilson Fisk, he had been battling against himself. He was willing to kill him even if that meant condemning his soul, destroying his life and everything he was. He could not let him keep hurting people. But he didn't kill him. Wilson Fisk would go back to prison, this time for good. He was safe, and so were Karen and Foggy.

He was tired and injured, sweaty and bloody, but an unfamiliar yet delightful feeling of freedom ran throughout his body. He was Matt Murdock and he was Daredevil. He wasn't battling anymore.

When the police arrived, he headed back to the gym. The idea that going to his apartment was now safe tempted him for a second, without the FBI or Fisk's leeches on to him, but he preferred to go back to Fogwell's, take a deep breath, and rest. He desperately needed to rest.

He untied the ropes from his fists and wrists, sat on the ring, and lay down on the platform with his arms stretched out and his legs hanging above the floor.

There were people who always tried to drag him into this life of endless violence and suffering. No strings to this world. No place for joy. Just emptiness. However, there were others who did care for him, even if they had made mistakes. His parents had abandoned him, Father Lantom had lied to him, but they had also helped him when he was at his worst. And he had made mistakes too, and had hurt the people he loved the most even if he didn't want to. Maybe God was giving him a new opportunity. To have a mother, to be close to his friends again, to love and be loved.

He thought of Karen. She had saved his life at the church. Didn't run away. She helped save his soul too by telling him how damaged he would be if he killed someone, how he would never feel the same about himself. They may not share the same faith, but she was right. She knew what hell was like because she'd been there too. Thinking of her gave him peace. She was just as broken as he was, haunted by the violent mistakes of her past, but still had an incredibly generous heart. And he would do anything in his hands to make her happy, if only he could. If only she allowed him to.  

\---------------------------------------------

Foggy and Karen watched as Fisk and Vanessa got arrested. Both of them happy that their friend had made the right choice. Foggy wished Matt had been there, but Karen was pretty sure he was up there somewhere.

Upon heading to the precinct, Mahoney looked at them with a triumph look on his face. He was glad there were still people he could trust.

“Before I forget, I think you might want these back since you're not running anymore” Foggy told Karen while handing her the documents she had given him to destroy.

“Oh thanks, Foggy”.

“I'm dead tired and I haven't had a good night sleep in a while” Foggy complained.

“Yeah, tell me about it!” Karen replied.

“Are you sure you don't want me to give you a ride home? I mean, you're safe now”. He was ready to call Marci so she'd know he was ok.

“I know, but you know what? I feel like going back to the gym. Matt's probably gonna be there” she said with some insecurity in her voice.  

“I'm sure he'd like that. He can be an idiot sometimes, but he needs you, Karen. I think you need each other” he told her while she blushed a little. “I’ll take you there on my way home, ok?”.

“Ok thank you”.

After the nightmare they had gone through, all she could think of was Matt. Stubborn, closed off, complicated, willing-to-die-for-justice Matt Murdock. She laughed internally realizing the similarities between the two of them, how they both had kept secrets from each other and how scared of being judged they were. Except he didn't judge her, neither did she judge him. She actually admired what he did, despite the fact that it was insanely dangerous.

The only secret she had been keeping even from herself was that she was still in love with him. She didn't know if he still had any feelings for her. She had no idea how it would be from now on, how things could work out between them, but she was sure about something: she was not going to lose him again.

\---------------------------------------------

Matt woke up with the turning of the lock and the screeching of the hinges.

Someone was there. He tilted his head paying more attention. A familiar scent. _Karen_.

She opened the door, only to find the white and red ropes scattered around the floor.

She looked up and found Matt lying on the ring. Blood on his face, on his chest, on his arms, on his fists. He was still wearing his mask. She could see him. He could feel her. She didn't need to ask if he was ok.

With an effort, he was able to sit back up, using his hands and arms to support his own body and taking a deep breath.

“Hey” she said with a soft voice.

“Hi”. She noticed how exhausted he sounded.

He bent down and lifted the elastic ropes of the ring in order to come out of it. He was ready to stand up when Karen quickly stopped him.

“No, no, no, it's ok. Stay there” she told him.

He remained sitting on the edge of the platform as she approached him. Happy that she was there. He had been so afraid that she would reject him for doing what he did, that she'd never be ok with the two sides of him, that she would walk away. But she stuck around. In fact, she accepted him, and her anger seemed to have disappeared too. Now he felt closer to her than ever.

She was standing right in front of him with his forehead below her chin and she gently touched his cheek, just like she had done a long time ago back in his apartment, when he was also all beaten up and Foggy had told her it had been a car accident. He responded by slightly accommodating his head on her hand, enjoying the smoothness of her fingers against his skin. After such a rough night, having her here was a true blessing. Then she carefully started removing his mask, which he didn't need anymore, not with her.

Among the blood and the sweat, she looked for violence or fury in his eyes, but there wasn't any. It was just him.

“I didn't do it” he told her quietly. “I was so full of rage, but it all came to me like a flashback. I remembered what you told me, I remembered my dad… my mom... she didn't want me to become the monster, you know? And I didn't want that either. I… I couldn't do it”.

He leaned toward her resting his head on her chest with his eyes closed, hugging her tightly, letting go of the weight of his burdens, as if she were his pillar. She hugged him back wrapping her arms around him and tangling her fingers on his hair.

"I know" she whispered, kissing him on his forehead. “It’s over now”.

“Thank you” he said, captivated by the sound of her heart. “... for not giving up on me”.

“I told you. You're worth keeping around”.

He smiled and wished they could stay like this forever. Breathing, feeling, hearing nothing but her. Letting her absorb him completely. If that was even possible.

A few moments later, Karen moved and sat beside him. He started missing her the second she pulled away from him.

“You could use a hot shower and a bed. You know that, right?”

“Wait, do I smell that bad?” he joked, trying to sound surprised.  

She chuckled. “That's not what I meant!”.

Karen insisted that spending the night at an old abandoned gym was not exactly cozy when they could go to either of their apartments.

_Respective apartments, Karen._ She corrected herself mentally.

“Why don't we get a cab to take you to your place? There's a mattress there”.

“After the FBI’s visit, my apartment’s not exactly cozy. I don't even have a door”.

“Right. Then you will sleep on my couch”.

“It's ok, Karen, I'll be fine”

“Don't be silly, Matt. You look like shit and I'm sure you feel even worse. I'm not letting you stay here”

“Alright” he nodded with a vague smile and got up to get his bag, wash his hands and his face, and put on a clean jacket and his sunglasses.

Yes, sleeping at Karen's couch was much better than a cold dusty gym. Just being with her was better than anything, really.

“Ready?” she asked him, now standing near the door.

“Yeah, let's go”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you're wondering why I skipped the church crypt moment (which was obviously HUGE in their relationship), I want you to know that I even thought of naming this chapter "Step 4" because to me that whole scene IS Step 3, but the thing is I had already gone over it on another fic which is called "Give me your hand" (in case you want to check it out), so that's why I kind of skipped it :) 
> 
> Thank you all for reading! :)


	4. Step Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inside Matt and Karen’s heads while he spends the night in her apartment. Both of them still struggling with the invisible walls between them. This is the last chapter of this series, all of which takes place during Season 3. I really enjoyed writing it and feels perfect to post it just the day after the Daredevil cancellation announcement, which left us all (including myself) devastated. I love DD, I love Karedevil, and I love this fandom <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This happens the night of Fisk's arrest in Season 3 and, if you’re familiar with the comics, you’ll find a little reference from Born Again :)

Matt could hear the whole city talking about Wilson Fisk's arrest. He just wished they would shut up. They had had enough of him for a while now and he really needed some quiet. Karen was right. Sleeping at Fogwell's was not exactly a good idea.

Considering how their previous encounter in this place had gone, it was weird to be back in her apartment, but at the same time, very familiar. It even felt like home. Better, he'd say, since he had company. She had been nice enough to let him use the bathroom first. Now it was her turn to take a shower. But before leaving she had brought him some snacks, a drink, a few pillows and a blanket.

He was lying on her living room couch trying to keep his mind busy and focus on something else, anything else. Impossible task, though. She had just left the bathroom and was by her bed putting on some clean clothes. She was barefoot, but he could hear each of her movements. And the fresh smell of her skin and wet hair was driving him crazy.

Who would've thought? Only a few weeks ago he had reached rock bottom. He was so down that he was willing to let those men beat him to death. His life had not been easy, but despite everything he had gone through, that had been the first time he had really wanted to die. However, it was not his time yet. He had friends and family who cared for him and who had brought him back to his senses. They had fought for him and stuck with him, even though he had been a real jerk, letting them believe he was dead. He had been such a fool. They had saved him from himself.

Karen was one of them. He couldn’t believe that she hadn't lost hope, that deep down she knew he would return, and that she also had been so sad for him. They hadn't talked about that. She hadn’t said a word until only a few minutes ago, right after she gave him the pillows and was on her way out of the living room.

“Matt?” she had turned to him when she was walking to her room.

“Yeah?” he was already on the couch and moved his head in her direction. Her paused breathing was a sign she was hesitating.

“I’m just… I’m glad you’re alive”

He let out a small smile as she turned around again and went to her bedroom.

Regardless of how tired he was, he wanted to spend the night talking with her, although he had no idea how to. Maybe apologizing was a good start. They were friends, yes, and he loved that, but he couldn't get rid of this intense desire to hold her, kiss her, just be with her, tell her everything. He was too afraid to hurt her again, that he would be himself and screw things up. He could not do that this time. Maybe that's why he was so nervous.    

“ _You survive a building falling on you, you beat the shit out of criminals, but you're scared of telling Karen you love her”._ Foggy's words echoed in his head. He really wished he could follow his friend's advice and just go for it, but it was not that simple. Nothing was. Not between them.

\-------------------------------------------------------------

Karen couldn't decide whether or not it had been a good idea to bring Matt to her apartment. It didn't even feel real. For so long she had fought against her own common sense and kept telling herself that he wasn't dead, had cried so many tears, missing him so much, wishing he was there. She just had not been able to accept that he was gone. And it turned out he wasn't. Yet, how was it possible? How was it that she had this strong feeling inside of her telling her that he would be back? That he was ok? She couldn't explain it.

He was just a room away and she was trying to figure out how to act normally. Not that it was easy, knowing he could tell when she was nervous, uncomfortable, lying. If she was blushing, if her heart skipped when he was too close, or if her skin got warmer. He could read her completely. And he already knows way too much about you. She felt so vulnerable with him now, but at the same time, she trusted him more than ever. Probably more than anyone. Maybe that’s why she was so afraid of losing him again. Because, for the first time in years, her world was not so lonely. And she suspected that his wasn't either.

Although he could read her, she couldn't always read him. Only when he allowed her to, or when she pushed a little further. Like a few nights ago at the crypt, when she told him she was not going to leave him. And, well, it's not like she was an open book either. Not when it came to her feelings for him.

 _Feelings_.

She sighed deeply. She doubted he could want anything with her other than her friendship. She was the last person to deserve love, anyway. After everything she had done, all the people that had gotten hurt because of her, she wasn't worthy of it. But then, the way he hugged her at the gym… He didn't want to let go of her. She could feel it. In that moment he was completely vulnerable with her too. And she knew he was not lying to her anymore. He was being honest.

_But he's just here to spend the night. Get a good night sleep, and then go to wherever he called home now._

She was already on her third sleeping position attempt, with deep breathing and all, but none of it worked. She couldn't shut her head. Maybe tea or wine would help, but she didn't want to go out and possibly wake him up. She wasn't sure how sensitive his senses were while asleep and didn't want to take chances. He needed to rest.

Then she heard a shy knock on her bedroom door and it slowly opened. Matt.

“Karen? Can I come in?”

“Yeah, sure. You can't sleep either?” She moved and sat on the other side of the bed leaving enough space for him.

He shook his head.

“The whole city's up. Either watching the news or talking about Fisk.”

Karen felt bad for him. She was having trouble shutting down the noise in her head and could not begin to imagine how hard it would be to sleep when you had heightened hearing.

He closed the door and sat next to her.

“Sorry about the mess. The last time I was here was to pack a few stuff and run somewhere”

“No, no, I love it here. And your smell... It's everywhere”.

_Alright. That came out of nowhere. Now she will think you're a creep. Why did you just say that?_

He did hear her heart skip a bit, but it was his cheeks that blushed a little this time and Karen saw it.

“You and your crazy senses, Murdock” she teased him, which made him blush even more, but this time with a big adorable smile of his face.

“Is that your way of calling me a freak, Page?”

“Oh God, no. I think it's fascinating. What you can do. I mean, it's crazy, yeah, but fascinating”.

This took him by surprise since no one had ever complimented his abilities before. Not that there were too many people who knew about them.

He took a chance and got closer to her, touching her arm with his. He rested his head on the back of the bed and turned his face to her. She didn't move. That was a good sign. But again, her scent was absorbing him completely, now even more since she was right next to him.

_Keep it cool, Matthew._

“It doesn't seem real, right? He really is in prison”. She said with a yawn while staring into space immersed in her thoughts. This and the fact that she was so exhausted were probably the reasons why she didn't realize there was barely any space between her and Matt.

“Yeah, it’s like waking up from a nightmare. And reality is much better now”.

“Well, I sure hope so”.

She turned to look at him only to see he had closed his eyes and was a little bit too close to her, enough for her to even be able to smell the soap on his skin. She loved it, but her immediate reaction was to slightly pull back. Her breathing changed too, her heart raced, and… her heat.

He could sense everything in her and he was hypnotized. This was wrong. She was uncomfortable now. This was not what he had in mind. He should respect her space. They were just friends. What was he thinking? He sat up straight, scratched his head and seemed to have no idea of what else to do with his hands.

“I'm sorry, Karen”.

Clearly, he was nervous, which she found amusingly cute and was definitely going to take advantage of.

“You're sorry for what?”

He noticed her eyebrows raise and her eyes looking directly at him waiting for a response.

“For coming here, I mean, to your bedroom. I knew you were awake and I couldn't sleep either… But also…”

“Also, what…?”

“I'm sorry about… everything… For lying to you, for not reaching out… For hurting you. I swear I never meant to. I was an idiot and you deserve so much better.”

She looked down and tucked her hair behind her ear.

“We all make mistakes, Matt, but considering what I've done I don't really think I deserve any better”. She licked her lips and looked up trying not to cry, but it didn’t work.  

“What? Karen, no…”

He cupped her face and wiped her tears with his thumbs. Then he kissed her forehead and took both of her hands.

“You're wonderful. And _I_ don't deserve _you_ , but I promise I will never hurt you again. If we could only…” he paused, in fear of her answer.

“Start over?” she read his mind.

“Exactly. I know it's been complicated, but…”

He didn't finish. Next thing he knew she was messing up his hair with her fingers, caressing his neck and kissing him. A soft, sweet kiss that felt like a waterfall in the middle of a dry desert. Too brief for his desire, but just long enough to leave him breathless. Karen already knew he loved her. He had not said it, but she knew it in her heart, and she was done with controlling her impulses. His arms were still all around her when she pulled away.

“You caught me off guard” he whispered.

“Did I?”

“Yes… I loved it” he said with a smile.

“Me too”

“There is so much we need to talk about, but we're both worn out now”

“You're right. We'll have time”

He took her hand.

“Can you, uh… Would you come with me to the church tomorrow?”

“You sound like you're asking me to be your date for a funeral, Matt”

“You know what I mean. It's just that… Father Lantom, and… My mom… I should speak with her. And I need you there with me, please” he almost begged.

She nodded.

“I know. Of course I'll be there” she assured him with a bit of a hoarse voice, laying a hand on his cheek. She was really tired, but insomnia was hard to beat.

“I can help you sleep”.

“What? How?”

He opened up his arms. “Do you trust me?”

She was confused, but had no energy to ask questions.

“Yes” she said, leaning toward him. Her forehead was right on the corner of his shoulder and his neck and Matt decided her warm breathing over his chest was his new favorite sensation.

“Close your eyes”.

If there was anyone who knew Karen Page, it was Matt Murdock. Even though he had never seen her, he could recognize her heartbeat, her breathing, her scent, the texture of her hair and her skin, the sound of her voice, the taste of her lips. He had been studying her ever since he met her. But the way she was holding him now was new to him. She was fragile yet strong. She had allowed him to come to her apartment, to her bed, had kissed him, and now this.

_What did you do to deserve her?_

With his left arm, he held her tightly against him. With his right hand, he found the edge of her tank top, and his fingertips caressed the skin of her lower back.

“Just try to relax” he whispered, after she slightly trembled upon his touch.

He closed his eyes too and smoothly began sliding up under her top, gently massaging each of her nerves in order to help her unwind. As he went on, he could feel how she was loosening up. He kept gradually going through her spine, and by the time he got to her upper back, her breathing and heartbeat were slow and steady. She was already sleeping.

Then he carefully accommodated her on the right side of the bed, covered her with the blanket, and kissed her temple.

“Good night, Karen”.

It was quiet at last, and he was able to fall asleep too… by her side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you haven't read Born Again yet, please do yourself a favor and read it! That moment when Matt massages Karen's back to help her sleep is one of my Karedevil favorites (reason for my icon on Tumblr). 
> 
> Thank you for reading! :)

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! :)


End file.
